I like to think of myself as a bit of a foodie. For those not in the know, that means I like to get pretentious about what I eat when I’m around other people, yet still do those 3AM McDonalds runs when I’m headed home from the bar after drinking a crapload of Bud Light. That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but the intent is there. The big difference between foodies and gluttons is that foodies tend to look at their cuisine before shovelling it into their faces: this being way different than actually meeting your food.
OK, enough of the sidetrack. I’m here today to speak about the wonders of the greatest food combination in the entire world: peanut butter and jelly.
I’ve been a massive fan of the PB&J since I was a wee lad. A couple of sammiches with a tall glass of chocolate milk and some Cheetos could very well beat out any fancy fare for my choice of last meal. I’m just that dedicated.
I am, however, quite snobbish when it comes to PB&Js. Crunchy is the only peanut butter that should be used and it is my firm belief that lightning should strike you if you meld peanut butter and bread together with anything other than grape jelly. I’m much more flexible with bread choices (I’m not a total asshole). I almost never eat plain ‘ol white bread, but it’s mighty tasty with PB&Js as well as leftover turkey sammiches. The Cheetos (puffy not the original) and chocolate milk are not necessary, but it does help to have something to wash down it all down with. Amazingly, this is one time where beer just doesn’t do the job.
It makes me hungry just thinking about it.