So, basically all day today I’ve been trying to pithily pontificate the joys and wonders of Star Wars: this being the unofficial holiday of one of the greatest Sci-Fi properties in the history of Man.

For all that Star Wars means to me, it is a downright crime that I haven’t done much writing about the subject.

Basically stated, I’m a huge Star Wars nerd. I couldn’t tell you how many different copies of the original trilogy I have on VHS and DVD, and the amount of Star Wars ephemera that occupies my house borders on ridiculous.

I’ve read all of the novels of the Expanded Universe (and actually like those characters and scenarios better than what I’ve seen on the screen so far), collected trinkets from the four corners of the Earth with “Lucasfilm, LTD.” stamped on them and I’m a tad embarrassed at the amount of money I’ve spent on individual action figures.

All that and I find it incredibly hard to write about. It seems that only when I get hot under the collar (reference my “heated” Why, George, Why? blog from last year) do I delve into my Lucas-inspired nerdery.

To be honest, I often only talk about Star Wars to address the things I’m not happy with. I guess that’s all part of being a “critical” fan. Why can’t I just be happy with Wookies, Mandalorians, Jedi, Sith, etc. and ignore the horrible gaffs like Episodes I-III, the Marvel Comics and Rokur Gepta? To that end, why must I justify my love of the Expanded Universe to “purist” fans who find it anathema to look beyond the six movies (does the Christmas Special count?)?

Oh wait. I know. Star Wars fans just LOVE to complain. We bitch about “special editions,” proposed “ultimate editions,” lack of Blu-Rays, lack of the “Yub Yub” song, being a little short for a Stormtrooper and a bajillion other little things that just bug the ever-loving shit out of us. In general we will sit in awed silence for ninety minutes at a time, and many of us will still tear up at the “I know” line on Bespin during Empire Strikes Back, but when that is all over, it’s right back to the bitching.

Honestly, I should really focus my attentions on mocking continuity-lacking Trekkies or those freaks who stuck through Battlestar Galactica (and I don’t mean the one with Lorne Greene).

I can be a horrible creature of habit. For example, if I don’t hit the comic book store on Wednesday I get panicky as all hell. Granted, I’m usually weeks behind on my reading, so I won’t even get to the books that I’m purchasing for several weeks, but I have to hit the shop on Wednesday. Irrational? Yes, but who doesn’t have an irrational behavior or twelve?

Similarly, I have a list of books (comic and conventional) that I tend to read over and over and over. I’m not sure if this is a unique behavior (I would think not) — but who knows?

The first of these books is Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum. This book opened so many doors into my budding love of secret societies and cults back when I was in high school. It’s a fantastic story of “what if we make up a conspiracy to sell some books” that gets way way out of hand.

This is a book I read about once every two years just to keep the material (and paranoia) fresh. After I read the Da Vinci Code, I immediately read Foucault’s Pendulum to cleanse my palette. This is a book that was shelved with its own concordance when I first picked it up. Shit like that makes me do a happy dance.

The most important book that I read over and over and over is The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson. Anyone who knows me well should read this book just to see how my brain works. I’m not saying this book will change your life or anything, but THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

I read this book every year without fail. Sometimes I read it twice just for good measure. I’ve already finished my first reading of 2010 and I’ll probably pick it up again after I finish reading the odd young adult fantasy series I’m reading now (Fablehaven for those who are interested).

The third multi-read book I keep close at hand is of the comic variety. Warren Ellis’ Transmetropolitan.

Spider Jerusalem is almost as bad ass as Warren Ellis himself and Transmet (as those in the know are oft to call it) is the ultimate in dystopian futures. It’s got drugs, politics, social commentary and oodles and oodles of bad attitude. The fact that it makes me giggle like a little girl is just the gravy on the cake.

While it is always nice to read Transmet all the way through, if I need a quick fix, I read what amounts to the first collected volumes.

Warren Ellis’ Crooked Little Vein is also quickly crawling up as being one of those books I’ll read over and over, but I need to give it a third read just to make sure.

So, gentle blog reader, any books you revisit on a regular basis?

I’m a slow learner. Rather, I’m a stubborn learner who doesn’t pay any attention nor know any better when it comes to certain topics that “blind” me. First and foremost of these is Star Wars.

I have quite the different perspective on that “Galaxy far far away” than most typical casual fans. Over the past twenty years, I’ve read almost all Star Wars related comic books and definitely all Star Wars novels (there are a lot more than you’d think). Over this time, I have developed a much larger appreciation for what is known as the Expanded Universe than just the handful of films that were made.

I found it delightful that George Lucas created this incredible base of worlds and characters and then had the foresight to establish continuity ground rules related to stretching out beyond film; causing all the various Star Wars-related novels to fall into a singular timeline.

Different authors, writing to their different strengths, have developed fantastic characters outside of the major six or seven and really developed a broad variety of cultures and even, to some extent, language.

Now George has stepped in and changed some things that I see as pretty damn important.

For those not nearly as geeky as myself, I refer to the recent retconning of the Mandalorian culture in the Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon.

Here’s a two minute primer into the Mandalorians. Everyone familiar with Star Wars knows Boba Fett and Jango Fett. Both of them were Mandalorians. What a lot may not know is that the Mandalorians are a nomadic group of beings made up of multiple species organized in clans who often fill the role of mercenaries or bounty hunters. The commonality amongst them being honor and pride in the community and rabid devotion to their clan. Think of them as the Star Wars equivalent to Viking or Celtic tribes.

This has been beautifully developed in novels (Karen Traviss’ works especially) and comic books.

Now, however, it appears that George has turned the Mandalorians into a peaceful race with a militant faction called “Death Watch” (not unheard of in both comics and novels previously) that is seeking to overthrow the peaceful Mandalorian leaders.

I call shabla osik! It seems that the worst thing George Lucas has done since releasing his first three movies is staying involved creatively in the property. I’ll agree that the Clone Wars as a concept were a pretty good development from the second three batch of movies, but that is about it for those.

C’mon George, take some time off and enjoy your billions of dollars and leave the storytelling to those talented people who actually give a damn about the fans.

A terribly sad thing happened on my way in to work this fine morning: I finally finished Jim Butcher’s Turn Coat. At 7:18AM CST I caught up with the rest of the world and now have to wait until April until I can get another Harry Dresden fix.

In explaining the “Dresden Files” books to many of my friends, however, I came across an interesting conundrum related to our now ever-connected, always-on-the-move society that drastically affects storytelling and the written word: what is “reading” a book?

You see, I have a thirty minute commute to and from work each day. For the past several years I’ve spent most of those drives listening to audio books. In fact, that’s how I “read” nine of the eleven current Dresden books.

This has brought up quite the discussion with acquaintances about whether listening to an audiobook constitutes actually “reading” that book?

First things first, I want to eliminate a glaring variable from the argument: abridged audiobooks are right out. In my opinion, abridged audiobooks should be all shot into the sun and the creators shamed. If I want and abridged version of the story, I’ll wait for the damn movie. Problem settled? Back to main discussion.

It is my belief that the concept of “reading” a book needs a fundamental change in definition. “Reading” alone, in these “New Media” times is insufficient to describe the intake of a story or defined knowledge. I propose that “reading” become a subset of a more standard term of “consumption” of a written work. I understand that it is mostly an argument of semiotics, but defining the “consumption” of a book as either reading or listening (or whatever other method you take in knowledge) provides a broader allowance for the user experience.

At any given time, I am almost always listening to a book and reading at least one book. That doesn’t even take into account the five to ten comic books I read each day. All of these efforts I consider “reading.” If I learned braille and figured out a way to taste the written word, I’d have just about all bases covered.

Join me next time when I take up Hemingway as interpretive dance.

I hate the Twilight series.

I know that “hate” is a strong emotion to throw out there, and I almost feel bad about it since I really don’t know much about the Twilight series, but I hate it.

First off, Twilight is not about vampires. Vampires generally have more weaknesses than just sparkling in sunlight. What the hell is that all about anyway? I’m pretty sure most strippers sparkle in sunlight thanks to “stripper dust,” does that make them vampires? Are Edward and crew really strippers? At best, the Twilight “vamps” are nothing more than hybrid gothy emokids. That’s deadly enough it its own right. At the worst, Edward is a pedophile. Isn’t he like hundreds of years old and still dating high school girls? Even Matthew McConaughey got over that.

I realize that I’m getting older, and that one of the first signs one is getting older is that the stuff the “younger folk” obsess over is annoying as hell. There, I found a reason I can justifiably hate Twilight: it makes me feel old.

That’s just not the best excuse.

I’m a vampire fan. I’ve watched some pretty terrible movies solely because there was vampy-time somewhere in the middle. In fact, I probably prefer terrible vampire movies to the really well done ones. I even buy into the concept that there are a whole mess of different varieties of vampires. I just don’t think Stephanie Meyer knows what the toss a vampire is.

That’s not even a good excuse.

Do I really need a good excuse?

Screw it, make mine Team Edward.