justin monkey, Ravings, Vice Leave a Comment

Well, it’s that wonderful time of year again. I’m referring to that time of year where the general populace makes promises to themselves in full knowledge that they have no intention of keeping said promises. The icing on the cake is that many people genuinely get disappointed with themselves for failing themselves on something they never intended to do in the first place. No wonder we have so many ads for depression and anxiety meds on television and in print.

Generally, I do not partake in the making of resolutions because I’m horribly impulsive and also pig-headed when it comes to making changes that, while do seem worthwhile and probably healthy, inconvenience me and make me change my already meticulously orchestrated routine. At the very least, resolutions should be considered more “sound ideas” than these horrific monstrosities that everyone seems to portray them as.

That being said, I’m attempting to be proactive right now. My first step of pro-activity is by trying to change my behavior now, at the cusp of the holiday season, before I get wrapped up in the tumbling miasma of holiday “cheer,” and before 2010 shows it’s ugly, misshapen head.

Sound Idea #1: quit smoking
I’ve been a casual smoker for a very very long time. Sure, I’ve had the nicotine monkey on my back something fierce a times, but, for the past decade at the very least, smoking has been more of a social hobby for me than anything else. I don’t needthem to survive my day to day. I’ve even gone on months long jags where it just doesn’t sound good, but I always come back. Cost doesn’t even seem to be a big deterrent. While I shudder each time I shell out eight dollars for a pack, I still haven’t had the gumption to bother quitting.

Saturday I decided that I had my “last cigarette” on Friday night. The concept of “last cigarette” is a massive failure in itsself.  If you have a defined jumping off point for something like smoking, it gives you something dangerous to focus on. By deciding after the fact, I’m hoping, I don’t have the opportunity to psyche myself out with such inane thoughts as “It’s been 27 hours, 14 minutes since my last smoke.” I’m not like that generally, but I could see it happening.

Sound Idea #2: dry out a little
I’m a drinker. Unlike my approach to smoking, though, drinking rates as much more a serious hobby. There are probably six thousand psychological reasons why I like to drink so much, but I could care less: I just like the booze.

To be fair to myself, I have cut down significantly over the past several years. It is my belief that once one enters their 30s, one must either devote themselves to full time alcoholism or cut back on that party lifestyle that made the 20s so marvelous. Since I’m still scared shitless of Leaving Las Vegas, I had little choice but to cut back. By cutting back, I’m only actively seeking a night of drinking two to three times a week as compared to my five or six previously. I still probably drink too much on those nights where I get my drink on, but that’s what I would like to address presently.

I’m a social creature. When I think about going out to hang with my friends, going to a bar is the first logical choice. It’s like those places were designed to sit around in the dark with your friends and a beverage. I cannot even comprehend what non-drinkers do when they want to hang out with other non-drinking friends other than gather in their Mother’s basement to play D&D (which I’ve had a horrible nostalgia for). Therefore, I’m going to keep going to the bar.

Scarily enough, not drinking is a lot easier to do than not smoke. Since I always smoke a crapload more when I drink, I think that leveraging drinking against smoking is going to make the first sound idea work out well. My only big flaw in not drinking is that I do not drink soda products. I cut those out of my life, for some reason, almost fifteen years ago. It’s a good thing I like water. At least I’ll get a good jump on flushing out all those toxins.

Wish me luck.

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